THE LAST 5 MINUTES: 8 Concepts and Contemplations in Healing
By Mindy Daigle, NP
Healing, defined differently by each person, is a fundamental component when encountering chronic, debilitating illness. Often elusive, patients wonder how they will ever return to normal.
They are learning how to cope and survive, leaving little ability to experience joy and healing. I will explore eight concepts and contemplations in healing which I employ with my patients, in the last five minutes of our appointments together.
For the past 10 years, Dr. Christine Green and I have collaborated on the care of some of the most ill, most adversely affected of any patient population I have encountered in my 25-year career. Most of our patients experience some combination of Lyme, multiple vector-borne diseases, chronic fatigue, severe chronic pain, and many other debilitating conditions. These difficult-to-cure conditions are usually long-standing and difficult to find a path to treatment.
Hope is present
Many patients are extremely ill, wracked with pain, crushed by fatigue, encumbered by brain fog, and in many cases bereft of hope. However, their presentation in itself, to our clinic, is proof that hope is present.
In these appointments with my patients experiencing complex chronic illness, I spend the majority of the time, the first 40 minutes, listening, talking, asking, and answering about all things both subjective and objective.
Medical decision-making, symptom management, and care planning are the majority of the appointment. In the final five minutes, we focus on the healing process and how that can be a reality in their life.
Taking my observations, interactions, investigations, and intuitions, I put them together in a way that delivers a word of wisdom, a word of encouragement, a word of care. This is a moment of “I see you.” With patients experiencing long-standing chronic illness, matters of the heart, mind, and spirit are of great importance in the process of healing and recovery.
I have found over this past decade that these words of wisdom usually fall broadly into one or more of the following categories.
Eight concepts and contemplations
1) Keyhole Sunset
2) This is a battle won in inches, not feet or miles
3) Awareness, Acceptance, Compassion
4) Pain is Information
5) This is your Hero’s Journey
6) Healing is possible, with or without a cure
7) Find a micron of joy, hold on to it, then the next day find another.
8) Do what you need to do, rest when you need to rest, force nothing, watch the magic happen
A brief introduction
1) Keyhole Sunset
Maybe you find yourself restricted to most of your time in your home, in bed or moving periodically from bed to couch and back again. Your world may become smaller overvtime. This can lead to your feeling that the world has contracted and that its beauty is gone.
In these times, look for the beauty all around you, wherever that is. It could be minuscule or grand. Look for the sunsets, look for the rainbows, listen to laughter, feel a breeze, look for the beauty everywhere, even if only through a keyhole.
2) This is a battle won in inches, not feet
Over time, it can become difficult to notice the wins and improvements. We have patients track their changes at every visit. This allows the patient to see what improves and allows us to judge and guide therapy. Most of the time, the changes are not dramatic or quick. When faced with a chronic illness, it can feel like there are no changes, left seemingly without hope of improvement. It is in these times that you can identify the small changes and hold on to them as wins. Pain may have decreased from a 6 to a 5then at the next appointment may be a 4. Take that as a win.
3) Awareness, Acceptance, Compassion
This is a process of making peace with what is, employing a delicate balance between pushing forward with treatment while accepting the present moment. When something is happening in your body you first become aware of it, notice it, name it, describe it without having an emotional reaction to it, remain neutral. Then accept what is: pain, fatigue, GI distress, headaches. I accept it because it is.
Then, letting go of judgment, exhibit compassion towards yourself while you are in this experience. The brain needs to work to function through pain and brain fog which leads to fatigue. Allow yourself rest, rejuvenation, and celebrate baby steps.
4) Pain is information
Pain is an electrical signal, telling us something is wrong. Listen to the signal. Pain has energy in it, we decide how to channel that energy. We give the pain greater power over ourselves when we have a strong negative reaction to it. Suffering and pain are not the same. Listen to the pain, it will tell you something.
5) This is your Hero’s Journey
When you first became ill, you were most likely leading a different life. You were more active, engaged and more positive towards life in general. These circumstances can lead you to devolve or evolve. During chronic illness you might not choose to go on the hero’s journey, you may get forced onto it. Use the process of this journey to level up in one way or another.
6) Healing is possible, with or without a cure
Although I believe that all illnesses are curable, we may not be clever or wise enough to find the path to cure in this lifetime. Whether or not cure is possible, healing is.
Healing comes in many forms and is defined by each person for themselves. As you are on your way to find a cure, focus also on healing. Your mind and spirit can become free from the constraints of the limitations of the body through your own process of self-healing.
7) Find a micron of joy, hold on to it, then the next day find another.
There are many days when joy is elusive, just beyond your grasp. Other days the joy feels abundant and ever-present. Every day, find even just a micron of joy. This proves to yourself that joy is possible, that it is a number greater than zero. Hold on to that bit of joy, then the next day find another and hold on to it. Build on the joy day after day to free yourself.
8) Do what you need to do, rest when you need to rest, force nothing, watch the magic happen
Chronic illness can be overwhelming. Some days are over-filled with appointments, ordering medications, and clerical tasks related to these conditions. Other days are unending and can lead to boredom. And yet others involve overwhelming symptoms, making it impossible to do anything more than the essential tasks.
A person may not know what their next steps are, and how to mitigate their symptoms while attending appointments, engaging in therapies while managing these multiple chronic conditions.
This leads to overexertion on some days and lack of movement on others. Hold to doing what you need to do, resting when needed, not forcing any particular outcome and then watch the magic happen in your life. This process is especially helpful when experiencing chronic fatigue and managing energy balance.
Do you have experiences in your personal journey that correlate with these concepts and contemplations? Tell me about it at mindydaigleNP@gmail.com.
Mindy Tobin Daigle is a Nurse Practitioner at Green Oaks Medical Center, in Palo Alto, California. She collaborates with Dr. Christine Green, a Lyme and Tick-Borne Disease Specialist.
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